it was not fun to hear you say that it was a mistake to fly out and see me.

yet for some reason beyond my logic, i still have residual feelings left-over.

so now i want you to know that i have mixed feelings about you coming to china. part of me is excited that we will be living in the same city for a bit, and that i will get to really know you because i realize that the way i feel about you for the most part is based on the time we had traveling together in china. vacation allows people (or at least me anyway) to get stuck in moments that don’t reflect real life. part of me is scared that after getting to know you my feelings will get stronger and you won’t feel the same. and that instead you will lean on me as a friend and i will have to worry about you sleeping with other women. and part of me just doesn’t want you to come because i think i need to move on. and a small part of me is ready to date you and finally not have our time together be like minutes slipping through a sandglass. so that this time, i can see whether fate will continue to play its trick on me or be for once, kind. but then this part of me doesn’t want things to work out between us because i don’t want to do long distance. and then a part of me thinks that i would do anything to be with you. because didn’t i tell you, you gave me butterflies the moment i met you 2 yrs ago and to this day still do? see what did i tell you? my feelings are all mixed up.

but he wasn’t…..

when we turned left, he turned right. and headed straight towards Hooters. by himself with a pair of binoculars hanging around his neck.
very nice.

then i realized it wasn’t my friend, but her brother making a work related call. oops.

” it’s okay, i understand–i’m having a china day too.”

China day. you utter those two words and it’s instant empathy from a fellow expat.

those living here all know what it means. china day means everything that can go wrong, does go wrong.

my day in China, was starting out okay. it wasn’t until getting off from work, that my day in China was turning into a China day. first, i find out that i probably have to wait in line at the bank for a good hour to make a currency exchange when i was the person doing the favor.
Then the taxi driver did not know where he was going and made me get out of the cab. Then I stood in the freezing cold and hailed another cab. This one actually did a drive by, cursing at me and speeding off because he was heading North and I wanted to head South. I finally get to my destination, the tailor, only to find out that she has just left for home ten minutes before my arrival.

so what’s a girl in china having a china day to do? shop.

i bought a pair of fake esprit linen shorts and 4 piggy banks. very necessary items. not.
then i come home and realize it’s almost 10 pm which means i have to eat out yet again because the grocery store won’t deliver goods after 9pm.

shiet. at least my ayi is coming tomorrow. and yes i sound like a spoiled expat brat right now. but when you get a pmsing jenny experiencing a china day, that’s just what happens. aiite?

going to a dinner party hosted by a fellow american saturday night—ordinary

playing freeze dance (haven’t done this since I was a kid) and watching his chinese roomate take off the two red fans hanging from the wall and then doing a private traditional fan dance in the comforts of their living room—-extraordinary

baking cranberry scones and other goodies with my friend chi jia on a sunday afternoon —pretty ordinary

getting an impromptu chi gong healing session from chi jia’s friend for my pinched nerve while coffee cake bakes in the oven. this chi gong student, btw, has obstained from orgasms for 1.5 years so he can build up his “chi” and use it to help heal other’s ailments with it —extraordinary

2) last nite i saw a dog with a bumble bee outfit. wings and everything. i texted my friend i saw a bumble bee dog! minutes later i saw a devil dog. with devil horns on his hoodie. its getting cold outside and winter months in beijing is apparently like a never ending canine halloween. nice. i like. so cute.

3) no smoking signs mean yes smoking. a few weeks ago, in an airport in kuming i told the lady. hey lady, i’m pregnant why are people smoking when there is no smoking signs placed on the table. oh we allow smoking. wait, but there’s no smoking signs. oh but we allow smoking. seconds later….i want a sandwich. but don’t put ham in cuz i’m a vegetarian. but you’re pregnant. you should eat some meat. nice very nice. i should breathe in second hand smoke and damage my unborn imaginary fetus. but wait, i should also eat meat. it does a body good. very nice. you’re crazy lady.

just some chinese observations…..

their eagerness, their glint in their eyes, their fingers fumbling to fasten the seatbelt for takeoff, their request to change seats so that they could sit next to the window and peer out into the vast open skies dotted with cotton-balled clouds—these were all signs that this was their first plane ride. ever.

on the way to beijing on a jet plane to their country’s capital….

and me, having been on countless plane rides realizing at the age of 28 how much i have already seen…it was one of those rare moments where i pause and truly reflect at just how lucky i am.

went for a facial, splurged for a very much needed hair cut @ toni and guy, did a bit of shopping at Zaras. returned home for store-bought sushi (yuck) and a dvd. prepped and got ready for a partay, nico’s and sumita going away do with the usual suspects plus 100 expat strangers. it was held at club obiwan, a very cool three story venue overlooking the lake.

i broke my no drinking rule and had myself a gin and tonic and threw down a tequila shot with chris. got my buzz, my groove on and when the crowd thinned, we joined the english and french at rickshaw’s for some 3 am in the morning semi-qtr final rugy match. i didn’t care much for the rugby, but i was digging on the nachos. yum. i didn’t, however, like the fact that it was so crowded i had to walk in between people and chairs including a leery french guy, who kept making humping motions to me. yuck. wtf.
c’est la vie. life in beijing is f-u-n.

romella be my number one. amy and her entourage be my number two. and becca, shimi, and larry be my group number three.

these are people who came to china to see me, smell the food, see the sights.

and all have said that they wanted to return.

yay.